Jul
01
2015

Notice

Retraining workshops are being provided tomorrow for employees being affected in the next round of lay offs. Surprise, if you are being laid off you’ll be sent to the tent in parking lot C tomorrow. C being appropriate since it is circus workshops being offered. In addition to employment the circus offers great travel opportunities. Oh, if you don’t have your own RV Bubba’s Camping World is giving 10% discounts to laid off employees. Sell the house you can’t afford anymore and buy one.
Open positions:

  • Sword Swallower (easier to go down than the crap we’ve been dishing out)
  • Trapeze (you’ve already been laid off what else can go wrong?)
  • Fat Lady (need I spell it out?)
  • Lion Tamer (must sign a waiver and provide proof of medical insurance (COBRA))
  • Clowns (not as scary as being laid off)
Jun
29
2015

Who says home decorating can’t be fun?

Just last month, my husband and I, after having slept in the same bland bedroom with neutral-colored wallpaper, unfeeling furniture, and laughably dull décor for five years, finally made the decision to make a change. Our first task: choosing the blinds. My artsy-chic friend told me about a nice little place called Manchester blinds. I’m by no means an interior decorator and neither is my husband, but we knew what we liked when we saw it. The great thing was there was so much of it to see, thanks to the wide selection. There were even styles I never even knew existed, and I eagerly rushed from one location to the next. In the end, my husband and I settled for a very regal looking set of blinds that now ushers in the morning for us quite nicely. Now, we can’t wait to see what to do next.

Jun
23
2015

Listen To This

Listen to this, hearing loss is no joke. We may all have trouble hearing things at some point in our lives, but if you continually have problems with your hearing, it may be time to see a doctor. Most people don’t realize their hearing is going until it’s too late.

Hearing loss can rob you of all the simple joys in life. Not being able to hear music, family or friends talking or even your favorite television programs can be very frustrating. If you feel your hearing isn’t what it used to be, talk to your doctor. He will see to it that you receive a hearing test. If you do suffer from hearing loss, talk to your doctor and see if Manchester hearing aids are right for you. Your doctor will discuss all your options with you. Don’t waste another day not being able to hear. Call to schedule a hearing test today.

Jun
20
2015

WOW

As I stepped over the golden gravel, I realized, that it was unlike anything I had ever seen before. It was the most amazing of everything, I had ever witnessed. I just couldn’t believe that it took me so long to find so much, and get so much as a whole. It was a hard reality, but I knew that I had what I found something truly special. Layer after layer, piece after piece, brick by brick, and much more. It just stood there. It looked at me, and I didn’t know what to say.

It looked at me with a long stare, and it was then I realized and knew what was really going on. Then, suddenly it happened. The doors opened up, and it was then I realized that it was going to happen. I was going to go inside of Arby’s.

Jun
19
2015

Tall Tails In A Turkish Bar

Mr. Genderbar arrived at the appointed Turkish bar fashionably late. Mr. Fumata, a friend, and famous world travel writer, was already at the bar waiting for his arrival.

On this occasion they agreed to celebrate their annual meeting with a Japanese custom by ordering warm Saki. As they enjoyed their Saki, they each shared tall tales of their travel adventures, while boldly bragging about never being scammed during any their travels.

The bartender, wanting to tarnish their perfect records, offered to arrange for the most pleasurable thai massage Manchester for just two hundred lira each.

Both men agreed. They arrived at the address he gave them only to find an empty public pool, posted with a contamination health warning.

At the end of the story, the Turkish bartender, wishing to teach a lesson, met the pair, returned their lira, and advised them to never order warm Sake in a Turkish bar.